I can remember hearing the word ‘poser’ from a guy visiting me from California when I was a teenager in Philadelphia. He explained to me that the east coast of the US was simply copying the west coast (California) of the US - that we were all posers! No originality, just copy cats to fashion and movie stars’ persona. Hmm, there I was emulating Cher Bono with all her glamour and spunky personality! (it was the 70’s, guys)
Fast forward over 25 years.....
We need to give ourselves permission to simply be who we are. Without regard to whether that “who” is sheepishly quiet, likes shopping at thrift stores, repeats themselves, outgoing and boisterous, artsy and eccentric, stutters when nervous, whatever. There is no other you, you’re one of a kind. In trying to conform to some one else’s traits, we are choosing to release our originality, that which defines who we really are. Our character.
When some one says they need to ‘find’ themselves, it makes me wonder where they lost their true identity. Maybe they were trying to be the ‘perfect wife’ or ‘perfect Mother’. Perhaps they were trying to please their parents and fell into a career they disliked greatly. Role playing and redefining your character to please others, or ‘hide’ your true self to the world must be similar to acting/pretending. I did a little acting when I was younger and it took practice to get my part just right. After many hours of practice though, the role became effortless and easy to portray. It was as if I could flip a switch and become some one else (for a while, anyway).
Authenticity is the real deal. We can see it in young children who are not yet tainted with pretense and ego issues. As an adult, it takes self actualization and introspection on one’s part. It’s paramount to follow your heart, your soul purpose in life. Any other path leads to some one else’s dream.
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